Sunday, September 25, 2011

Not Your Obvious Weapons

Do you ever get tired of the same old weapons? You know, guns, knives, baseball bats, brass knuckles, the usual weapons of choice in crime stories. They come in handy and do a dandy job on the bad guy or the innocent bystanders. But when's the last time you took a really good look around your house and thought about what would make a good weapon or at least something that could cripple the bad guy long enough for you to run?

The kitchen is a good place to start. Your first thought would be that block of knives sitting on your counter, right? That would be the bad guy's first thought, too, and he'd be watching. So what else?

A cast iron frying pan or a rolling pin swung with enough force could do some damage. Yank one of those box cheese graters across his face - yikes, does that hurt. And yes, I've scraped the skin off my fingers more than once. If you can manage to turn the stove on, drop a dish towel or even a roll of paper towels on the burner. A nifty blaze or billowing smoke will distract anyone. Not to mention the smoke alarms going off. While glass jars are almost a thing of the past, most people have heavy coffee mugs that could do some damage or break a glass so you have a cutting edge. A spritz of 409 in the eyes could blind him for a few minutes. Better yet, some cooking oil or dish soap on the floor makes for a slippery chase scene. And that's just the kitchen.

For you ladies, take a look at your knick-knacks. How many of them would make a good weapon? I've got a brass crane on the shelf next to my desk. It's looking straight up, with a long sharp beak that could poke an eye out. The body is slender and fits comfortably in my hand. I have all kinds of rocks and shells around the house. Some of them have sharp edges that could cut. And there's small jars, about the size of baseballs and filled with stones, that are pretty heavy if you've got a good pitching arm. I also have a two foot long, two inch square piece of flagstone that could do some damage. And there's always the pens and pencils laying around on the desk.

Bathrooms are filled with cleaning products, a hair dryer and toilet paper could start a fire. Do you have a fire place or wood stove? You've got pokers and shovels at your disposal. If you make it to your garage or basement, you've got hammers, saws, drill bits, all manner of tools at your disposal. Spray paint to the eyes will slow a person down. But please, forget the chain saw, much as they love to use them in the movies, they aren't a reliable weapon.

Have you got kids? What toys do they have scattered around the house that would make a good weapon? A plastic sword to the eye. A skate board left to trip over, or bash in a head. I wonder if a slinky would work to choke someone? One of those blow up punching bags or balloons could make a loud enough bang, if poked with a pin, to distract someone, unless, of course, he thinks he's being shot at. That one might find you in the line of fire. But getting him to shoot, might alert the neighbors that there's a problem.

So, what have you got laying around your house that would make a dandy weapon in a home invasion story?

8 comments:

pattinase (abbott) said...

My favorite weapon I have used in a story so far was a school bus falling on someone in a car shop. I doubt I will ever top that as a weapon.

sandra seamans said...

I doubt anyone could top that, Patti!

Katherine Tomlinson said...

My father used to keep one of those old fashioned spiked for papers on his home office desk. I was always afraid I was going to impale my hand using it.

He also had one of those pen-holders with the marble base. And paperweights, although everyone uses paperweights. I'd probably go with the spikes. Or a school bus falling on someone. Love that.

sandra seamans said...

I remember those, Katherine, they were called spindles and I had the same fear :) Not much use for them anymore with everything done on the computer.

Al Tucher said...

A saucepan of boiling water or soup on the burner would be a very nasty weapon.

I'm also reminded of a fight scene in Three Days of the Condor. Details are a little hazy in my mind, but I believe it takes place in a photography studio, because there's a camera mounted on a tripod. At a crucial moment the Robert Redford character reaches out and presses the exposure button, blinding the bad guy for an instant.

sandra seamans said...

Could just be me, Al, but I think movies do a better job of using the less obvious weapons than writers. And yes, I know writers write the screen plays.

Maybe because it's a more visual medium, it allows them to show how dangerous an object is, while short story writers would have to tell and maybe lose the reader.

Thomas Pluck said...

Guns are easy. I like bare hands. I've used a hot pot of gumbo, a barbell, pushing a car in a lake, a rosary, a shovel, a car bomb, a samurai sword, a straight razor, a belt sander, a roofing hammer, a window sash weight, a sculpture...
I mean you gotta have fun with it. :)

sandra seamans said...

Sounds like you have lots of fun, Tom!!