As many of you know description is my weak spot when writing. Elmore Leonard says to leave out the stuff people skip. Well, I skip those long drawn out character descriptions. I don't care if a character is wearing Walmart Haute Couture or Armani. Eye color, hair color, I don't need to know. And footwear? Unless they're stomping on somebody's face with a pair of steel-toed boots, they could be barefoot. I can picture them from the things they do and that's the way I tend to write, which is frustrating for some readers who want to know all the details of what a character looks like or what they're wearing.
So, why am I talking about this? Because I just came across some description that doesn't describe in minute detail but you can still see and know these people. From Stanley Ellin's "The House Party".
"That was Hannah, her eyes bright with tears-she could turn on tears like a faucet-and her hand was gripping his so hard that his fingers were numb under the pressure. Hannah with the overdeveloped maternal instinct, and only a husband to exercise it on ... That was Abel Roth chewing on a cigar-even at a time like this, that reeking cigar!-and watching him worriedly. Abel with his first successful production in five years, worrying about his investment ...And that was Ben Thayer and Harriet, the eternal bumpkins ...And Jake Hall ...And Tommy McGowan ... All the familiar faces, the sickening familiar faces.
"But there was a stranger, too. A short stout man with a look of amiable interest on his face, and splendidly bald, with only a tonsure of graying hair to frame his gleaming scalp. He ran his fingers reflectively over his scalp, and nodded at Miles."
How cool is that? You have all the characters described in two short paragraphs and a great snapshot of who and what they are, including the narrator.
13 comments:
I also don't include much detail in the describing people, but what I liked in that paragraph was that you only saw things that had an impact. No details just for detail. This was, the reader fills in the blanks, doesn't gloss over, and yet whatever they come up with will include what's important later.
For me it varies as to what I'm writing at a given moment and to what the basic plot is.
For my last short story, because it was about a punk rock musician, the intial description had to be incredibly detailed.
For a novel, it definitely depends on what the scene is as well.
Sandra, I agree, skip the long boring descriptions and go for the significant details that bring a character to life. Two lovely examples: "...a look of amiable interest" and "splendidly bald."
I agree that is good description. I too like that kind of description of charcters, that move things along. I do kind of like landscape description as well, and don't mind it going on a bit, or mood description as I often call it.
That's very sharp description.
I leave most of the character description out as well unless I feel it's particularly vibrant or somehow necessary.
Exactly, Ron! Every word had a purpose and moved the story forward instead of slowing it down.
Yes, G, sometimes you need details so the reader can see what the writer sees. And I agree it all depends on the scene, but it also needs to be pertinent to what's coming in the next scene.
Splendidly bald sure beats saying something like a "cue ball head" or "smooth as a baby's butt" doesn't it, Anita. It's simple but brilliant. I tend to stray into the purple prose area with description, and that's one of the reason I steer clear of description when I'm writing. :)
I agree, Charles, I love those "setting the mood" descriptions, but too much scenery can get annoying also. I remember reading story once that described every article in a room and then moved on to the people who were in the room. I think writers forget sometimes that the two can be combined to make the story more interesting.
Yes, Chris, sometimes how a character dress shows their attitude or purpose and it's important. Other times it's just window dressing. It's finding the right balance that's difficult for me. And something that I have to pay attention to in rewrites.
I prefer the telling detail, not the complete picture. Readers can fill in the blanks...
What I'd probably also prefer is not to be introduced to a whole set of characters at once. In life, there's usually only one or two people out of a bunch who catch your eye. I'd find that more plausible in fiction.
I really prefer to have a writer tell me very little about the physical characteristics of a character. Nothing as boring as a paragraph describing each character as they come on a scene. Surprisingly some pretty well known writers do this. One or two details is plenty. And they might be a gesture rather than a hair color.
I almost never stop for a solid paragraph of description, unless it feels like a natural pause in the action or dialogue. I like to give enough for readers to have their own mental picture of the character; doesn't matter if it doesn't match mine exactly.
Possibly nobody's done descriptions better than Mark Twain. You could compile just his character descriptions into a book, and it would be entertaining.
Something all of you touched on was letting the reader form their picture of a character. This is what makes reading such a wonderful collaborative effort. No two people will see the same thing in a story, making it a different experience for each reader. So much better than TV :)
Twain is a great example, Manuel!
And yes, Ron, the fewer characters in a scene, the better. But Ellin did a great job with his cast of characters.
That is the kind of description I aim for. You get one detail, the one that stands out. Unless the person is a 7 foot tall obese cyclops with polydactyl fingers and a club foot, it's usually easy. In that case I'd just call him "Igor" and let you figure it out when he ducks through the doorways and clomps along...
Though I am reading the poetic James Crumley and he manages the same picture in your head in a very different manner.
Sandra, I sympathize. When I'm reading and I come across an= indigestible lump of description, I skip it. I can't even force myself to read it. When I'm writing, I always go back several times to see where I can slip in a little description or texture. It's a chore, though.
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